From a Wife
Joy and ‘Ted’
Wives, husbands, significant others, children or grandchildren are not members of the Brothers and Sisters Like These group. We are, however, very much a part of the members. To say this group has been a blessing is an understatement. Let me give you a little background on my feelings.
I grew up in a small town in Georgia. The only places I had been were to Florida and Virginia. I guess to say I was sheltered is an understatement. Our town had an air force base, so the military was visible, but there was not much interaction with locals.
Ted and I got married in 1967 a week after he graduated from OCS. I had no idea what a ride I was getting on. We traveled from South Georgia to Washington state as a honeymoon. We lived on base and Ted began his career at Ft. Lewis. I would go to pick him up after his day with basic trainees. I would park and watch evening formation. I would usually slink down in the car, so people did not know I was with the guy talking to these young guys in such a strong voice. It was so out of character for Ted to be so assertive. However, Over the years I had men serving under him tell me how much they appreciated him, and they knew that anything he ordered them to do, they knew he would do himself with them with no hesitation.
Feelings of a military man’s wife are many. Love, Respect, Fear, Curiosity, Anxiety, Dread, Pride, Anger, Respect, Awe, Jealousy.
When I hear the Brothers and Sisters group getting together for their zoom calls, I sometimes feel jealous. Here is a group that is bonded together and share so much that I have no idea about. I sometimes hear the stories being told and weep. The feelings are so strong and deep. Ted and I talk about it sometimes, if I ask questions about something I heard. He is really good to explain to me in terms I understand.
The times I have learned anything about what went on in Vietnam were when he was talking to another vet or when I read some of his writings. I am always kind of taken aback because I had no idea things happened like they did. I had no idea he was flying in a helicopter over Cambodian border, no idea he was walking through swamps being covered in leaches, no idea on his trip to catch his flight out of Vietnam he sat in jeep wrapped all over with flack jackets. I had no idea about lots…
Do any of you in the group share anything from these meetings with your wife, husband, significant other, children, or grandchildren? If not, I think you should. They may be waiting for a signal from you that would allow them to express some emotions that are left over from the meeting. I know the emotions are not turned off after the two-hour meetings.
The things all of you saw, heard, and experienced are foreign to us. We love you and if there is any chance, we could help you to deal with this, WE ARE HERE.
As a military wife, I understood we were in the background. We were part of the “support group” not in command (although I met several military wives who were sure they were commanders in charge). If there is any way we can be here for you -- it is our honor to be here.
Love to all this Group and thanks for opening this infectious boil of war!